I told myself, when I had my first baby, I wouldn't get swept up in the wave of parenting books out there. But, of course, it happened anyway. Here's my take on a few of my latest reads!
The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
Honestly, Mr. Karp is an egomaniac who thinks he's the super doctor because he 'discovered' that babies like to be swaddled. His calming method is probably good to know, so go to the Library and read through the introduction. That is everything you need to know, right there. The rest of the book is pretty painful- he says the same things over and over again and harps on about how brilliant
his methods are (because
nobody shushed a baby before Harvey Karp came along and told them to do it!).
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with your Baby by Tracy Hogg
This has been my favorite parenting book so far, although I got a little sick of being called "luv." It freaks me out when the author tries to converse with the reader- really not my style. Other than that, she had some great suggestions (many of which we plan on trying). If you're confused about baby-lead parenting, I would definitely recommend this book. The big parenting fad of to today is baby-leads, meaning you do what the baby wants to do when the baby wants to do it. Hogg sets up a system that allows for structure and flexibility, so you get the benefits of a schedule and the ideals of 'baby-lead.' This is the only book I would recommend as a must-read.
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
This isn't a parenting book, per se, but the theme of the book is Western vs. Chinese parenting. As Chua points out, you can't argue with the results of Chinese parenting. Asian kids top the charts in academics. Although I don't love her extremest parenting style, I pulled some great things out of this book. For example, she states that Chinese parents believe that their children can be the bests, so they provide all the resources to help them be the best. I think that in the West, we settle for mediocre and give alot of credit for "trying your hardest." I understand the need to value children for their individual abilities, but Chua makes a great point - Asian parents assume strength; they assume that their kids have what it takes. Maybe Western parents just need to have higher expectations for their kids. I thought this book was an interesting read, more for the culture of it than for the parenting.
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
I had a hard time taking this books seriously, since the author's name is "Alfie." What a terrible name. Also, the tone of the book is preachy and annoying. The premise of the book is that children deserve to be loved unconditionally, but most discipline methods are a form of conditional love. According to Kohn, when you send your child to time out, you are telling them "I don't want to be around you; I don't love you when you misbehave." This book is the epitome of Western parenting. I agreed with alot of Kohn's principles - children deserve to be loved, you need to value the parent/child relationship - I think his practices are unrealistic. I don't think that you can teach correct behavior by just loving your kids a little more - I think they need rules and boundaries. The best thing I got from this book was an opportunity to look at my parenting ideals with a critical eye. For example, when I use time-outs, I want to send the message that my child and I are taking time to cool off and think about what happened, as opposed to sending away my child because he/she is annoying me.
The 10 Basic Prinicples of Good Parenting by Laurence Steinberg
This book was filled with common-sense parenting. Reading it felt redundant, because everything Steinberg said seemed like a re-statement of well-known parenting standards. Steinberg's writing style is a little condescending, like he's talking to a child. I guess that happens when you are a child psychologist. He does list lots of ideas for handling certain behavior, which might be helpful if you have very little experience with parenting. I thought that most of his ideas were things I have/would have come up with on my own, because they are commonly accepted principles of parenting.
